What do men really want?

Contrary to popular misconception, it's not just about food, sex and alcohol, but companionship for life's journey. Some of the females out there maybe crying out, "Ya RIGHT"!

Well, I used to think that way too and one of my colleague said wittily: 'That's easy: a naked woman to bring him food and beer.'

I wanted to correct her and say that it's actually two naked women, but I felt that a less flippant approach was required when tackling this subject.

After all, men have always had it worse off when it comes to figuring out what women wants.

Everyone wants to know what women want. Movies have been made about it, songs have been sung about it.

Maybe it's because women possess a Sphinx-like air of mystery about them. Maybe it's because, after years of having been discriminated against as the 'weaker sex', women are finally getting their dues.

I'd like to think it's just because women are complicated.

But whatever the reason, no one ever seems half as interested in what men really want.

As my colleague's remark showed, the general stereotype is that most men are satisfied by the simple fulfilment of their basic desires for sex, food and alcohol.

But that can't be all there is to it, surely? I certainly hope not.

I'm not a prude by any measure but some part of me takes offence at any generalisation of my peers and myself as being nothing more than modern-day savages.

Worryingly, when I polled a number of my guy friends, there was a significant number of them who professed that, for most of the time, they were indeed preoccupied with simple pursuits such as chasing girls and having fun.

A recent outing to one of the more popular clubs in Singapore on a Friday night allowed me to observe no end of young men - and to be fair, women as well - who seemed to be thoroughly enjoying a night out on the town with copious amounts of alcohol, loud music and much close interaction with the opposite sex.

I think it would be near impossible for human beings to deny our natural instincts and hormonally driven urges, which, as Darwinian theory tells us, are all oriented towards ensuring the survival of the species through procreation with the opposite sex.

Even those of us who do not subscribe to Darwin's theory of evolution should accept the fact that it does seem to be in human nature to seek to pass on our genetic material to future generations by finding a suitable mate and settling down.

But while I accept that on a subconscious level, we may always be prisoners to our natural physiological make-up, haven't we evolved sufficiently through the years to be able to consider other priorities in life?

What about making a positive contribution to the world? Achieving a higher level of enlightenment and understanding about ourselves? Leaving this earth a better place than what it was when we got here?

I posed these thoughts to a younger friend of mine who is serving his national service two days after he had received a decent set of A-level results. I asked him what he felt he and his peers wanted out of life.

'I think most of us want to be successful. And by successful, I mean in all areas like love, work, pursuits like sports, being famous and things like that,' he replied.

No mention of cute girls or partying the night away then. Maybe there is hope for the younger generation after all.

I then turned my questions to a colleague of mine who has just crossed over into his 30s and who seems to enjoy frequent nights out painting the town red.

He admitted that, while the pursuit of the fairer sex has always featured fairly high on his list of priorities, he increasingly felt that something had been missing.

'It all starts to feel a little empty and meaningless after a while. And going out all the time can get rather expensive, and you get home after a big night out and sometimes you wonder what was the point of the whole thing.'

So it seems that some guys do think about more than just what the usual stereotype gives us credit for. But I was still no closer to actually coming up with a definitive list of what those preoccupations were.

To add to my confusion, another single friend of mine in his early 30s and has never been especially renowned to be sensitive or new age told me that men's obsession with finding a woman may not just be all about sex.

'I think what a lot of us are looking for is someone who we can be with in the long term, someone who we can take care of and who can take care of us when we need to be.'

After I overcame my surprise at his simple yet enlightened view, I attempted to get a bit more clarity about the whole issue by asking a female friend in her mid-20s what she felt guys she was attracted to valued in life.

She said: 'I think men who know what they want and have the drive to go for it are very attractive.

'It's good to know that the person you are with has goals and a purpose life, and that he is committed enough to work towards them, as long as those goals are nothing especially bad.'

So trying to find out what guys really want has proven to be almost as difficult as pinning down what women want.

But maybe that's not even important, and what we should be doing is trying to figure out what we as individuals want for ourselves and work towards that.

After all, as we journey through life, it's bound to be a lot easier to find the right person for ourselves if we at least know which direction we're heading in.