When partnership works, it is not an accident

Everyone tells us that it "takes a lot of work" to build a lasting relationship. Rarely, however, do they give us any specifics or concrete information about what that means.

When we fall in love, we're filled with enthusiasm; we hope, and trust, that everything is going to work out. What we typically do is rely on the strength of the love and the initial attraction-not "the work"- to see us through. We want to believe that love, combined with healthy instincts and good intention, will steer us in the right direction. And when we get into trouble, we expect "love" to rescue us. But let's face it, if love was all that was required, many more relationships would "make it."

Throught no fault of our own, most of us have not been appropriately trained or conditioned for partnership. It is a sign of the times. Simply put, we haven't had enough practice. Whether we have adored dating and living a single life or loathed every bit of the process, as men and women forming relationships today we have far more skills for being single than we do for being part of a couple.

We all know what it means to fall in love. We know what it feels like to have our spirits lifted by the sense of promise and hope that arises when we meet someone. Some couples are together for several years before the "glue" fails to hold. Many couples get married and many even stayed married but yet how many of these marriages are truly loving and truly gratifying?