the story continues in finding her

Have you ever been looking for someone and no matter where and how hard you search for it, you just can't find it?

But then, just when you decide that maybe you don't need it after all and you're ready to abandon the fruitless search, you start thinking of that person.

It has been almost been 8 years since I first saw her and fell in love.

Well, I figured that I could be miserable all by myself and I didn't need anyone's help to achieve that.

Somewhere along the long road of youthful loneness, I finally met her. Not only was she breathtakingly beautiful, but she had the brains to match her beauty. A sly sense of humour came out nearly at once and we found ourselves talking night after night, as if we had known each other for years. And only the night sky above, filled with stars and the quiet night, overheard our conversation.

Yeah, I had fallen for this vision of beauty, and boy, did I fall hard.

We never really had our first date, but it was a bit different from the norm. It was special nevertheless.

I could go on forever about her. But to cut to the chase, it was the start of a relationship and the best thing that has ever happened to me.

I cannot exactly remember how long it lasted but how I wish it would last forever, instead of seeing her now in my dreams.

Through out its beautiful life span, we never break into any fights or arguments. There is always a deep sense of mutual understanding, respect and love. And through all that, we always found a way to constantly create that fire works. And I'll be honest, I never imagined a time that we wouldn't be together.

But that day did come. I soon found myself fighting against my insecure and stubborn nature. I felt we weren't communicating. And so, I started considering life without her.

For me, it was the worst of times. I was heartbroken, a real mess. I had lost the only good thing that ever happened to me, the only person I've ever loved, and I didn't know what to do. I've never been so miserable and unhappy and depressed.

If only she knew how I really feel. But it was too late. I knew I have lost her and now I am finding her back.

But something happened then also. I saw how much this wonderful person truly meant to me. I remembered how much I loved her and how much she meant to me.

They say some people have to hit bottom before they can work their way back up. I'm one of those people. And I had hit bottom as surely as I had fallen for her on that first day I met her.

Except that person wasn't in my life anymore. But now, instead of fighting with her, I was fighting for her. For me. For us.

And so, awkwardly, like a newborn just taking the first steps, I started the process of finding for her all over again. I have exhausted all avenues, I am really tired. But I just want to find her and tell her how much I love her and miss her through out all these years.

I wish she is doing well.

I don't know what the future holds, but I know one day, I will find her.

If you were once like me facing walls of loneness, have faith. Sometimes, you find what you're looking for when you least expect to.