Don't PAY For Her Attention...
Recently I had a friend who told me that he always feel OBLIGATED to pay if he is out with a woman on a date and this includes paying for drinks and dinners, buying her gifts and taking her out to shows.
My friend felt that, perhaps he is giving his date the impression, that he is trying way too hard!
Most guys feel COMPELLED to buy women gifts,flowers, etc. and "take women out" to "show them a good time".
In fact, the "standard" approach for many guysi s simply asking a woman "Can I take you out sometime?"
Of course, there's ALWAYS more than meets the eye when it comes to these kinds of issues, and this one is no exception. What's really going on here? Why do men usually buy things for women? What is the REAL issue?
If you're willing to be completely open and honest about it, you'll realize that most men:
1) Use dinners, flowers, gifts, and other "favors"as bait and/or payment for women's time andattention.
2) Don't feel deep down like an ATTRACTIVE woman would want to be with them JUST BECAUSE SHE ENJOYED THEIR COMPANY and felt ATTRACTION for them.
3) Have no idea what the ACTUAL affect of tryingto lure women with these kinds of things is.
4)
It was really a horrible feeling.
The worst part was that the more nice things I did for women when I first met them, the more apprehensive and "standoffish" they seemed to act. It was almost as if they interpreted my actions as ME TRYING TOO HARD, and they instinctively played "hard to get" in response.
The question of "Should I pay for dinner?" is as old as dirt. So let me answer it with one of my typical multi-part answers.
WHY WOULD YOU PAY FOR A WOMAN'S DINNER?
And for that matter, why would you buy gifts and do favors for a woman that you just met and don't know?
IT'S PROBABLY BECAUSE YOU WANT SOMETHING. And guess what? Attractive women are VERY perceptive. They can usually size a guy up in a matter of SECONDS.
She KNOWS what's on your mind. And she's going to take all the clues you give her to decide how much you like her... and how much of a WUSS you are as well. (If you have a case of Wuss-itis, and you literally can't even approach a woman...never mind take her on a date. Perhaps it is more advisable to start practising infront of your mirror.... or your sister)
I have friends, who are very good with women, that take women to NICE dinners all the time. I'm talking two hundred PLUS dollars for dinner and drinks ALONE. I also have friends who almost NEVER take women out for so much as a cup of coffee... yet they have more women than they can handle.
Is this possible?
Are the guys who are buying dinner actually SUCCESSFUL at bribing women with food?
Well, the interesting thing I've found is that most guys who are REALLY GOOD with women have something in common in this area. While some may buy expensive dinners for women, and some may buy nothing, NONE of them use the idea of paying for things as "bait" or "bribes" or"obligation"...
In other words, it's the INTENTION behind theactions that comes through loud and clear!
My friends that take women on dates to beautiful restaurants would be GOING THERE ANYWAY, and they just happen to be taking the woman alongwith them. Or if they open a bottle of expensive wine, THEY WOULD HAVE BEEN DRINKING IT THEMSELVES.
I also have to mention here that all of the guys I know in BOTH camps know how ATTRACTION works, and how to make women feel attracted to them REGARDLESS of whether or not they pay for things.
Women INSTANTLY RECOGNIZE it when they're dealing with a man who feels the need to "buy her attention", and they usually either play hard to get, or they just leave.
You can do anything and have it mean anything. There's a way to say "You're beautiful" and have it mean "You're not at all attractive", and there's a way to pay for things and NOT have it say "I'm a needy Wussy who feels the need to buy you things so you'll like me".
So, get it?